Homerun
by Her Sweetness
Summary: It's just another Spring day and Ryuuk finds himself rather frisky. Crack!oneshot. Now with 100 percent more FRESHMAN STICK.


Title: _Homerun _

Rating: _K _

Summary: _It's just another Spring day and Ryuuk finds himself rather frisky. _

A/N: _XD Listen, this is all for Compy. It's my gift for making it through a very disturbing fic of mine so, here you go, you spoiled thing. _

-

"It's a pretty nice day outside, Raito."

Ratio sighed and continued to doodle in his textbook.

"I mean, look at all the people jogging. And some playing… what is that, baseball? Why don't you have P.E. now instead of English, Raito?"

'Just ignore him,' Raito chanted to himself, his newly-acquired mantra. What Ryuuk was saying was no lie - it _was_ a nice day outside but this really wasn't the time to be saying so. He had worked hard within the past week to regain the respect of his teacher and if he slipped up again and replied to Ryuuk, he might just be sent home again. 

Mr. Yamaka was up at the front desk, his Teacher's Edition in his hands as he read to the class. "All right, about this… someone, please read from the next passage. Uh, you, please stand."

A random student stood tiredly and began to read, "There was a cry coming somewhere from the forest, perhaps a monster…"

Raito sighed, bored.

Ryuuk did the same. "Let's go out and play baseball with them, Raito. Or, you go out and play and I'll watch."

Raito glanced out of the window he was seated next to in order to see and then muttered, "That's softball, not baseball."

"What's the difference?"

"Girls play softball."

"Hn. That's pretty stupid. They should play baseball - that's a real man's sport."

"But they're _women_, Ryuuk," Raito whispered harshly and some people in the class turned around at him, including the teacher. In a moment, when Raito turned around from frowning at his shinigami, he found that the entire class, including Mr. Yamaka was staring at him.

Mr. Yamaka frowned. "Talking to your imaginary friend again, Mr. Yagami?"

"N-No, sir… well…" Raito groaned, eyes rolling to a "hyuk"ing Ryuuk beside him.

"Well, since you are feeling so talkative this morning, you may go out into the hallway and abate the noisy Freshmen coming through the hallway."

"But Mr-"

"Scat."

Raito's eyes twitched but he uprooted himself from his seat and walked across the classroom with dignity, his shinigami following close behind. As Raito reached the door, the teacher noted him, "Oh, and Mr. Yagami, take the Freshman Stick with you."

Ryuuk blinked and watched as Raito daintily picked up a large, splintered bat that was leaning up against the jamb of the door.

"But… it's still wet from the _last_ time someone used it," Raito grumbled.

"Well, the more the merrier," Mr. Yamaka said airily and returned to teaching the class.

Raito walked out of the door and Ryuuk floated through it. The door shut and Raito took his post leaning against the door with the Stick held loosely in his hand.

"What's a Freshman Stick for, Raito?"

"Weren't you listening?" He scowled.

"No."

"… It's to hit Freshmen with, Ryuuk. So they'll be silent."

"That seems kinda violent."

"Well, this is high school."

Ryuuk nodded and floated over to the open windows across the hallway. Shouts from down on the playing fields could be heard "Look, they're still playing baseball, Raito."

"I'm busy, Ryuuk. And I told you, it was softball."

"But there's a guy playing. That makes it baseball, right?"

"You're probably mistaking a girl for a guy."

"No way - come see. He's got a bulge in his pants."

Raito perked up a little and sighed, trying to seem indignant as he came over. "Listen, it's probably-"

Just then a boy came running down the hallway, laughing. Raito lifted the Stick in front of him and he slowed to a halt.

"_What_?" he asked, popping his neck at Raito.

Raito sneered. "Don't talk back to Seniors. See this?" He flaunted the Stick. "This is for people like you. And if you don't be quiet, I will be forced to-"

"Hey. I know _you_ - you're that creepy kid who talks to imaginary friends and gets all A's," the boy said, laughing.

Ryuuk nodded. "That's him all right."

Raito reddened a little, raisin the Stick. "I am not creep-"

There was suddenly a cheer coming through the windows from down in the fields and a sound of a loud smack - then a ball came flying through the window, through Ryuuk and beaned Raito in the head, to which the brunet fell to the floor in a heap.

The boy laughed, "Ha!"

Ryuuk looked at the unconscious Raito excitedly, "That was _so_ a guy's hit."

-

A/N: _XD Well… I did the best I could with my limitations! XD Hope you're happy, kiddo._


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